When all hell Broke Loose

So we were at the fall farmer’s market on Halloween promoting for our brand new CBD business to open within the next week or so..we had gone to Home Depot the week prior and selected the color paint we wanted for the interior of our shop.

We picked Luck Of The Irish Green..typical, considering we got married on St. Patrick’s Day and all..that’s besides the point.

expressing our excitement for our new location in Downtown Toms River

Flash forward to the next day November 1, 2018. Rob had been working and driving for Lyft for the two previous months of September and October. He was making decent money and we had started to catch up on some bills we had fallen behind on. He left around 3:30 pm Nov, 1. Things were finally looking up until I woke up at 5:45 the next morning to him not next to me and a message from him on messenger..

“Im at RWJ hospital in New Brunswick…I got light headed and passed out. Smashed my face on the sidewalk. Cut on my forehead n a broken nose.”

I was in complete and total shock. I really didn’t know what to think. He had had a seizure back in July that we tried to figure out what was wrong. His state health insurance had run out so he didn’t want to stay in the hospital long because the bill was going to rack up very quickly and would be thousands of dollars. So he signed himself out and made a point to say he would follow up with a neurologist.

It was determined that he had a seizure and thats why he fell and broke his nose and ended up with his forehead splitting open as well. They needed to give him 9 stitches for that. Luckily he had received his updated insurance in the mail that previous MONDAY.

We only had one car at this time so my mother in law Robin had to pick me and my daughter up and bring us there. I felt so sick to my stomach when I seen him. His clothes were soaked in his own blood. His face was all cut up and his nose was so swollen, he definitely looked like a boxer like his mother said.

I started to hyperventilate and get sick to my stomach. He was confined in this ER “room” that was so tiny and it was so so hot in there. There was barely any space to sit and or just be comfortable. I had to walk away..and cry my eyes out and get some air before I passed out.

I am an empath so when I see people in pain or experiencing pain of any sort my body automatically absorbs their energy. It doesn’t happen on purpose and I don’t make it happen..it just happens. It isn’t fun most of the time.

A little background about me.. I play Roller Derby for the Jersey Shore Roller Girls. I had an important bout coming up on Nov 3, that I had been training all season for. I was cross training at the gym, going to practice mostly every Monday and Thursday I could, even if it meant bringing my little one. I was very dedicated and back in June my league had voted me as a Co-Captain of my A-team. I was super amped and pumped for this game.

They ran an MRI on him and ran all sorts of tests. That being said I stayed behind and missed the double header bout over the weekend. That was pretty brutal but I knew I had to stay and comfort Rob and just be there for him as much as I could. That’s just what loving women do for their husbands and loved ones no matter what.

Long story short the weekend passes without much information to be told. I wake up Monday morning (Nov 5, 2018) to a phone call from his neurologist Dr. Hanft.

“Well we found a lesion on his brain and we want to go in and take it out..”

What? That means..brain surgery. Oh..ok.

“He doesn’t have to stay here all week. He can go home and we will call you with a definite date and time of the surgery but we want to do it as quick as possible to determine what this thing is and what is going on.”

Ok. Let me take a breather. I went to sleep Thursday night and everything was ok. By Monday morning I was being told there was a lesion on my husband’s brain and they wanted to do emergency brain surgery as soon as they could to take this thing out.

I immediately made a go fund me because I had absolutely no idea what else I was supposed to do. I was lost, confused, scared..I had no idea what the hell I was in for and as far as I was concerned..I was on my own at that point. I felt so alone and lost.

I had never felt such feelings of despair in my whole entire life. My world had been hoisted up in the air and was just left to smash on the ground into a million little pieces like broken beer bottles thrown out of a car window.

WHAT. IS. MY. LIFE.

I will update more soon..

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